LSU hires ‘Honey Badger’ as drug rehab counselor

BATON ROUGE, LA– LSU head coach Les Miles met with the media today to respond to criticism that  he and the program have received after what some are calling a “questionable hire” earlier this week when Tyrann Mathieu was brought in as a drug rehab counselor.

“The Honey Badger, I mean Tyrann Mathieu, was an exceptional player here at LSU”  Miles responded.  “He had a great influence on our team, our coaches, and our staff, and we want this program to be under the influence at all times”  he added.  Miles also said that Mathieu helps the players “calm down” and “mellow out” during stressful times.

“Look, we hire people based on experience.  Mathieu has significant experience with our program, college football, NFL football, and drugs.  We want our players to be surrounded by the best, and Tyrann fills that role in multiple ways.  His strengths line up perfectly with the needs of the team.”  Miles asserted.

Fans across the state have no shortage of opinions and have been chiming in on social media.  @LSU4LYFE tweeted: “GEAUX Mathieu!!”, Dave from Lafayette says: “Welcome back to the LSU Family!”.  Jeff from New Orleans even joked: “Where’s my money!?” However, not everyone is thrilled about the hire.  Matt from Baton Rouge said “This is a disgrace to our program.  It’s only going to encourage more drug use.

Mathieu is said to receive a health salary of $43,000 per year starting next season, which is slightly less than his $763,000 he currently receives with the Cardinals, but Mathieu says it isn’t about the money.  “I’m just happy to be doing something I’m good at- something I love!”

Share with your friends: