GLENDALE, AZ– As time expires at the end of the 2016 College Football Playoff National Championship, Bama Fans and Players celebrate a hard-fought victory against the #1 Clemson Tigers. The Tide, trailing early in the fourth quarter rallied past the Tigers with big plays from Kenyon Drake and Quarterback Jake Coker.
Soon after the game, the Tuscaloosa Tribune Poll named the Crimson Tide the 2016 and 2017 National Champions. The Tuscaloosa Tribune is owned by TideCorp, a subsidiary of the Bear Bryant Foundation, and has named The University of Alabama “National Champions” in 30 of the past 35 seasons- 14 of which are officially recognized by The University’s Athletic Department, including 4 after a losing record. The Poll’s Chairman, Pawl “Baby Bear” Bryant released a statement congratulating the team on a tremendous accomplishment: “It is with great honor that I, Pawl Bryant, by the powers vested in me from the Late Great Leader, “Bear” Bryant, and the great state of Alabama award the Alabama Crimson Tide as the 2016 National Champions!”. Pawl continued, “Our committee has thought long and hard about the quality of our program and we’ve decided to also award the Alabama Crimson Tide as the 2017 National Champions! No team in history has done what Bama just done did today- win TWO National Championships in one year! ROOOLLLLL TIIIDE!”
While the Tuscaloosa Tribune Poll has no actual significance on the rest of the college football world, it’s impact here in Tuscaloosa is undeniable. When objectors questioned whether or not the Tribune has the authority to crown National Champions of a season that hasn’t even started yet, Pawl was quick to respond, saying “Well, that’s just your opinion, Roll Tide.”
Reporters spoke with Head Coach Nick Saban shortly after the announcement, who appeared to be overcome with joy. One reporter claims he even saw Saban smile- A claim that would later be recanted and investigated as slander. “We’ve had a great working relationship with the Tuscaloosa Tribune over the past few centuries” said Saban, “Pawl is a great friend of mine, and his work is second to none. I am honored to be declared the 2016 and 2017 National Champions- it makes my work much easier for next season- but if you’ll excuse me, I have to catch up on watching film for the 2018 season.”
Lane Kiffin, the team’s Offensive Coordinator told our reporters “I agree with everything Coach Saban said! He even told me I did a pretty good job!” just before running to catch up with his head coach, shouting “Mr. Saban, wait for me! I wanna watch film, too!”
Alabama finished the 2015-2016 season 14-1 with it’s only loss coming at the hands of Ole Miss earlier in the season. Alabama was scheduled to face USC in the 2016 home opener, but the game may be rescheduled based on Bama’s pre-mature “claim” of the 2017 National Championship.