Washington DC– Last week, Nick Saban and the Alabama Crimson Tide toured the White House and visited President Barrack Obama, who congratulated Coach Saban and the team on a “well-deserved National Championship”. Recently, reports have surfaced about an interesting spin on an otherwise outstanding experience.
In a statement released yesterday, President Obama told members of the press: “I thoroughly enjoyed visiting with Coach Saban and the Alabama Crimson Tide- they’re a great group of hard-working young Americans. I guess my only complaint, would be the bathroom incident. It appears as though Coach Saban clogged up our guest bathroom and the in-house plumber couldn’t get it fixed- we had to call in a specialist.” President Obama continued: “This is an extremely old place and issues like this aren’t cheap to fix. With the current National Debt situation, we’re contemplating sending Coach Saban a bill for the damages”
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Our reporters spoke to a White House janitor who claimed this isn’t the first time this issues has arisen when Coach Saban and The Tide have Rolled through Pennsylvania Ave. “Every time they come, it’s the same thing! Clogged bathrooms in every guest bathroom. That coach is the worst- I don’t know what he eats, but he cloggs ’em up every time he comes here- and he comes here a lot!” claimed Mike Burns, head of the White House janitorial staff.
When media officials approached Coach Saban about the incident, he responded in a peculiar manner: “I try to excel in every aspect of my life- that’s what I teach my players and that’s how I live my life. If I use the bathroom, I do it to the best of my ability- I call it ‘The Process.’ Besides, the White House should be honored that I went number two in their bathroom.”