LSU Announces Leonard Fournette as Starting QB

Baton Rouge, LA– Fans and students rejoice as LSU’s quarterback conundrum appears to be over.  LSU Head Coach Les Miles announced earlier today that his team will no longer field a starting quarterback, but rather, the Tiger’s star running back, Leonard Fournette will fill both positions.   Miles told reporters: “We’re very proud of what our quarterbacks have accomplished this spring.  They’ve worked extremely hard and are fantastic contributions to our team.  However, we feel that this is the best decision for our team as a whole.”  Miles Continued: “Leonard Fournette is a tremendous athlete, and we feel like we haven’t even scratched the surface of his capabilities.  His freshman year, we saw that he could run, last year we saw that he could catch, now we’re going to get a glimpse of how well he can throw.”

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The tigers began last season 7-0 before losing 3 games in a row, starting with the big game against Alabama.  While Miles’ team was exceptionally young during the 2015 season, most point to lack of quarterback production as the Achilles-heel of an otherwise extremely talented group.  “While Fournette’s arm isn’t exceptionally strong, he simply can’t do much worse than what we’ve seen in past seasons.  Honestly, we don’t plan on throwing much anyway.” Said Miles.  “Not having a QB on the field frees up a spot for an extra lineman, or an additional running-back to block for Leonard.  It doesn’t make sense to have a player stand there to just hand the ball to number 7- he’s completely capable of taking the snaps himself.”

Joe Alleva, LSU’s Athletic Director chimed in: “We promised our fans that we would mix things up this season- not the same old run, run, pass that fans have grown so tired of.  We’re now delivering on that promise.  You won’t see run, run, pass because it will now be run, run, run.  QB production won’t be an issue if there’s no QB on the field.”  Alleva explained that he believes LSU is leading the way in a new era of College Football: “I think other programs will see what we’re doing here and follow suit.”


Coach Miles concluded the press conference with: “In Leonard we trust”.